Over the past many years a good friend of mine has battered me senseless because I’m a single mom. In all honesty and fairness, that wasn’t the REASON she was battering me, but her judgments left bruises and I felt beaten down each time we visited because she often told me how disappointed she was that I couldn’t make my marriage work.
Maintaining our friendship at times during these years has been difficult, in fact, there were many years that I avoided too much communication, because I couldn’t handle more emotional beatings.
As a Christian, she felt it her responsibility to remind me that I was to submit myself willingly to my husband during our marriage. When my husband chose to leave his family, deny his children and abandon the life we’d planned, I followed the Bible and allowed him to go. I didn’t invite him or pressure him back.
Recently, I’ve noticed she complains a lot about her husband, referring to him as overly dependent and co-dependent. Her level of submission to her husband is nil. Nothing left of it, and yet… she’s following the same brutal pattern of force feeding her version of Christianity to others. Repeatedly she reminds me that I’m to forgive my ex husband and pray for him, my “personal enemy,” and yet… she’s missing her own point of action.
My point in sharing this right now is that more and more often I feel judged by “so-called” Christians who feel they know more than anyone else about how to “love one another” and yet, those kinds of people are the hardest on their loved ones. They’re demanding, over-zealous and relentlessly unforgiving of the faults of others. Their judgments often leave others feeling battered and attacked by the very people who should be loving them and holding them up in prayer, instead of beating them into submission, or battering them into non-resistance.
This is not the kind of Christianity I was raised to trust and believe in, give my life to and live. The gift of Grace belongs to each of us, if we’ll only believe, trust and receive the gift of God’s love, His Son and Salvation.
There’s no time to feel resentful and unforgiving of others, and yet, there’s something significantly wrong with always being the victim of a battering ram and never opening up for a counter attack in self defense. At some point in almost every relationship, there’s a point of no return where you must counter attack to maintain the balance of power within the relationship. Even in a marriage where one willingly submits to the other, the counter attack, or defense of your position is required to maintain balance, if the person you submit to doesn’t acknowledge the gift you’re giving.
When the people of the church acted outside God’s will, Christ upset tables and threw a Holy fit, bringing the righteous people of the church to task for disobeying God’s will inside the church. Righteous dignity stands up for what is right and good and true in the eyes of God.
Submission is a gentle gift given to a person already submitted to Christ, the head of Christianity. Otherwise, submission is a derogatory and dirty form of slavery under which no person should be forced to live.