I’m a die hard fan of the mama tiger syndrome. No matter how often I hear about the repeat offense of a mama “animal” attacking someone who threatens her young, even if the attack is unintentional or possibly unknown in many cases, I have to say Mama is right to protect.
But that isn’t a popular stance to take.
In light of a recent attack by a Grizzly in Alaska, students were injured. The bear cub most likely was not in danger, the students were crossing a river, single file, attempting to learn safe camping options for the Alaskan Wilderness. And yet, the Mama Grizzly perceived danger.
I’m Jan Verhoeff and I want to share with you that there is ALWAYS help for anyone in an abusive situation. Don’t give up, and don’t stop protecting your young.
In much the same way that a Mama Grizzly protects her cubs, a Mom watches over her babies and reaches out to protect them from the beastly bad influences of those who endanger them elsewhere. Life offers up its own share of dangers, one of the many are abusive parents.
Abusive former spouses who behave as neglectful parents rarely show up later with the best interests of the child in mind. Their efforts are more likely to include emotionally abusive behaviors, toward the primary care parent and the child, escalating into physical abuse. The neglectful parent who spends his visits with the child attempting to impress the primary care parent in the early days doesn’t change his behaviors later. He simply goes at his ill structured strategies with a different tact, abuse by threatening the child, or threatening to take away the child.
His threats generally include accusations of behaviors he, himself is guilty of in one way or another. Often his threats are against people the caring parent trusts, still attempting to separate and isolate the caring parent, his former spouse. His attempts to control and manipulate NEVER stop. They NEVER change, his just shifts his tactics to a different format. Once an abusive spouse, always an abusive spouse – the concept is true.
When courts ignore obvious problems and order custody to be shared between a strong, caring parent who is working hard to provide for a child and the neglectful parent who lacks work ethic, parenting skills and basic good sense, they endanger the child. In this day when abuse is so easily recognized, an officer of the court who ignores obvious symptoms, sends children into a dangerous situation.
It is easy to understand why women get so caught up in abusive relationships. Men drag them into relationships saying all the right things, doing all the things that make them feel loved and supported, only to break their hearts and hurt them again with emotionally abusive behavior. There are many indicators that a person has become a victim of emotional and/or physical abuse, many of them obvious, others not so obvious. If you suspect a person has become a victim of emotional or physical abuse, you should offer to listen, be attentive and supportive. Remind the person that there is help for their situation. Frequently tell the person you love and care for them, offer them options, offer invitations, openings for the possible victim to talk, to leave, to get help. Your offers may be the only thing that keeps that person reaching out, and eventually helps them to leave an abusive relationship.
Above all, if you recognize an abusive situation, don’t stop reaching out until that person is safe. Keep reaching, keep offering, keep loving, and keep praying until the victim of abuse is safe.